If Only....

Don't worry this won't be another one of those sappy posts that reduces everyone to tears. I've had enough of that. Today's my mommy's 51st birthday. Don't say awwwwe....She's NOT old at all. She's pretty young to have a 34 (gulp) yr old daughter.
Since Sunday we've been in the ER most of both nights.
My mom, while playing with the girls, slipped, caught her big toe on the toy box and broke it. Pretty badly too. While on the way down she hit the middle of her neck on the door facing. Of course we thought she was done for until she said she could feel her toes. THANK YOU GOD! She says she was trying to break the floor so she could have a new one. NOT funny!!!!!
Her father (my beloved Pa Winnell) has chronic C O PD and has had enough to put him in an early grave this year. The attack he had yesterday was SO bad that the docs said they had 2 hours to get the breathing tube in or he would be gone. WHAT THEY DIDN'T tell us until later was that this is because one of his lungs had stopped functioning. ARG!!!!!! They put him on the vent and have him in ICU. He made it!!! They had him sedated to let him rest. They now have him awake and he knows everyone. YEAH!!! They are going to attempt to remove the vent this afternoon. Crossing fingers.
SO... we have had quite a bit going on lately. Enough to drive a body mad.
K...SO right before this last surgery John comes home from work and we are chatting as we do quite often (it's amazing after all these years that we still speak to each other and civilly too). :P SO...He's talking to me about his day and starts telling me about Don. Don is this guy who works with him and is one who keeps me in stitches. Don is one who has really dry and cracked skin which seems to get worse when he is on his motorcycle. At times his hands have made me want to cry. I've given him cuticle balm, lip balm, Creme De Sheer Awesomeness......So Don was at home bush hogging. He's got a big yard. :) Now John has a SERIOUS look on his face while he is telling me this and I REALLY begin to think something BAD happened to Don. I start to tear up because I "know" where this is heading and it isn't good. So he's cutting the grass when he begins to itch uncontrollably. No matter how much he scratched it would NOT stop. He can't take it anymore and decides to go in the house and do something about it. Don grabs the jar of Creme De Sheer Awesomeness and rubs it on all the itches. Instant relief. FINALLY! But wait...there's more....much more....what is this thing that is happening to me???? Erm....According to Don...it is a natural male enhancer as well. NO KIDDING, REALLY!?!?!? NO kidding! He said it erm...lasted for about 4 hours. I sure do hope Mrs. Don appreciated it as much as he did. By this time I am beyond pissed at John for making me believe something awful had happened to Don and laughing so hard I really am in tears. Don told me I should market this right next to Cialis. You know...If I had the funds to have it tested and then approved by the FDA I would do it in a NY minute. Don..I want to thank you for bringing such laughter into my world. My world is funny enough with John and the kids...but when he starts talking about you and the conversations you have shared or this recent experience...It's priceless....simply Priceless. Any time you need more Creme De Sheer Awesomeness you be sure and let me know.